nina and treplev
07.29.04 (9:47 am) [edit]i haven't had the energy or drive to write in a while although it would have been smart considering all the things i've been going through. i should have written down how i was feeling for the sake of my career.
anywho, well that fateful day arrived on July 11th. Richard and I are no more. I suppose it was a long time coming but i really thought that we'd have tried more before giving up. pretty dissapointed.
basically i hate telling the story because it makes me feel awful and i'd rather forget the dirty details.
so he went to montreal was supposed to come back on the sat. called me on sat to say he's staying maybe and will call back later. no call. not until 5:00 p.m. the next day. then i find out that that dirty whore was in montreal with him. i knew it was over. i couldn't trust him anymore and he kept hurting me and never even tried to make things better. so he came back at 12:30 midnight on sun all a mess. and i realized that he was about to pull the same 'poor me i have no life' shit he pulled 2 years ago. give me a freekin break.
so basically i told him is he's not sure he wants to be with me then i don't want to be with him. and that was that.
So for the most part i never see him. he's always at his mothers or so he says but i think he's with shit face. anyway shit face is moving to geneva in august so i guess she'll have to do it long distance. and you know i don't even care! can you believe it? i don't caaaaaaaare. it feels great. she's stuck with a guy who will leave her anyway and she's a over-the-hill slut so if thats what he wants they deserve eachother. Also she's trying so hard to be like me! omg its too funny but it makes me sick at the same time. she can never be me. she's old, ugly and a whore. keep trying there bitch. and besides she'll never have what we had and she'll be reminded of it just like i was reminded of Jenny.
So his dog died. yup. his mom ran him over. it was really sad and it broke my heart to see the family like that. that was my lowest point i think. i knew i was going to miss him and his family. He dissapeared after that.... says he'll be at home and doesn't show up doesn't call.... whatever though.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
things are going well with mark. he kissed me goodnight last night. it was unexpected but i was all giddy after.
i went to his house to practice the script. for most of it we ended up just hanging out lying on his bed. he parents must have thought i was such a skank. i felt so comfortable with him. we have the same interests and everything.
omg i almost called him rich yesterday. that could have been bad. anyway i'm so happy and i hope things progress.
rich e-mailed me today asking to hang out. oh boy.
dodgeball and tan lines...
07.05.04 (6:50 am) [edit]ahhhhhh. what a hectic week. so much for a vacation.
so (r) agent called me and we chatted about joining their agency. she told me that i could find other representation while working with her. anyway i agreed to try it out and she sent me on my first job to work on the set of ice princess with kim catrall and michelle trachenberg. so i called in to work on wednesday and i went to the site. it was really amazing actually how loose security is.
anyway i got there and i didn't realize how much waiting you had to do i got my wardrobe and i sat down. i ended up meeting these two girls from woodbridge sam and barb. what a disaster. barb was incredibly annoying and sam was really nice but they were pretty young and immature. anyway i almost got myself into some serious trouble. it just reinforced the fact that i need to learn to say what i mean without being scared.
so on lunch the AD told us to go out to eat, so we took a drive to burger king. anyway after we ate barb got this bright idea to go and find a J. I noticed the time was almost up and i tried to hint that we should head back but they didn't care. i felt kidnapped. anyway we ended up smoking a bit and then they were so stoned that they were dilly dallying geting back. as we approached the building the golf car came by and said get on the car. we just thought they were being nice. i was smiling and laughing and the he pulls us up to the doors and the driver says look what we found.
oh god. it was the casting director's assistant and all he little posse. then sam and barb blamed me that i was sick. i went with it but i was soooo pissed off. I was sure that they were going to tell the casting director and we'd be sent home. I had to leave at 6:00 to make it on time for my on camera class. Anyway i ended up getting chewed out and the assistant casting director threatened to call my agent. i was sooooo upset i thought for sure rachel would never send me out again and this guy on set told me that the casting agent can make you or break you.
So i went to class and i was just not in the mood to be there. i was so stressed from the morning that i couldn't concentrate. So i have some real losers in my class, but we went through a mock audition and i can see i that i have alot of work ahead of me. Nerves really do get the better of you. I had everything planned and the once I got on camera i was so nervous. I really like though how we see ourselves and that we know what we have to work on. Really very exciting.
So i also had to be on set on canada day, i was there at 10:00 and worked 19 hours. It was insane. I saw Kim Catrall a few times she was really nice and Michelle Trachenberg seemed to really like my jeans. It was a fun day getting to know the people on set the Directors and the other actors. Omg, honestly every one kept telling me that i look like Angelina Jolie and Vanessa Williams. It was so cute to see the way people treat you when they think you're someone big.
The rest of the weekend i saw spiderman 2 and dodgeball. i went for drinks with sacha and adam and dinner with adam and jon.